幽默的英语句子【推荐4篇】

幽默的英语句子 篇一

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to put it down.

Why couldn't the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

I would tell you a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

幽默的英语句子 篇二

I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I'm not clumsy, I'm just testing the gravity.

I'm not a chef, I'm an artist. The kitchen is my canvas, and food is my medium.

I'm not a morning person. I'm a coffee person.

I'm not old, I'm a recycled teenager.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people.

I'm not an early bird, I'm a night owl who's been forced to live in a morning person's world.

I'm not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?

幽默的英语句子 篇三

1、A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

2、Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

3、Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

4、Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

5、God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

6、Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk "“努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去。

7、Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

8、Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。

9、Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。

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幽默的英语句子 篇四

10、Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off

today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

11、One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

12、Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。

13、Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。

14、The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的`越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

15、The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

16、There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

17、When two‘s company, three‘s the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！

18、Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours! "工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看着别人工作。

感谢欣赏本文，更多唯美的句子请关注：2013最新幽默语句 爱情幽默笑话大全