最新英语幽默笑话【最新3篇】

最新英语幽默笑话 篇一

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

One day, a scarecrow named Bob was standing in a field, when he received an invitation in the mail. It was an invitation to attend the Annual Scarecrow Awards ceremony. Bob was thrilled and couldn't believe his luck. He had always dreamed of winning an award for being the best scarecrow.

Excitedly, Bob prepared himself for the big event. He put on his finest straw hat and patched up his tattered clothes. He even borrowed a bowtie from a friendly farmer to complete his look. With a big smile on his face, Bob set off on his journey to the awards ceremony.

When Bob arrived at the venue, he was amazed at the number of scarecrows present. Scarecrows from all over the country had gathered to celebrate their accomplishments. Bob felt a little nervous, but he knew he had to believe in himself and his abilities.

As the ceremony began, the host announced the nominees for the "Outstanding Scarecrow of the Year" award. Bob listened intently, hoping to hear his name called out. However, as the host read out the names, Bob's heart sank. He wasn't among the nominees.

Disappointed, Bob sat back in his seat and watched as the nominees gave their speeches. They all had impressive stories and achievements to share. Bob couldn't help but feel a little jealous. He wondered if he would ever have a chance to be recognized for his hard work.

Just as Bob was about to leave, feeling discouraged, the host announced a surprise category. It was the "Most Outstanding Scarecrow in the Field" award. Bob's eyes widened with hope. This was his chance!

The host called out the nominees for the special award, and to Bob's delight, his name was among them. He couldn't believe his luck. The other scarecrows were just as surprised as Bob. They had never heard of such an award before.

With renewed confidence, Bob walked up to the stage when his name was called. He gave a heartfelt speech, expressing his gratitude and sharing his love for his job. The audience was touched by his words and gave him a standing ovation.

Bob walked off the stage with his head held high, clutching his award tightly. He knew that even though he didn't win the main award, he was still outstanding in his field. And that was something to be proud of.

最新英语幽默笑话 篇二

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

In a top-secret laboratory, a group of scientists was conducting an important experiment. They were trying to discover the nature of the universe by studying the behavior of atoms. However, they faced a unique problem - the atoms seemed to have a mischievous streak.

No matter how carefully the scientists set up their experiments, the atoms always found a way to cause chaos. They would disappear when they were supposed to be present, and appear in unexpected places. The scientists were frustrated and couldn't understand why the atoms were behaving so unpredictably.

One day, a new scientist named Alex joined the team. Alex had a reputation for being a practical joker and loved playing pranks on others. The other scientists were skeptical about Alex's abilities, but they decided to give him a chance.

As Alex observed the experiments, he couldn't help but notice the mischievous behavior of the atoms. It reminded him of his own pranks. He started to suspect that the atoms were playing tricks on the scientists.

With this new perspective, Alex came up with a plan. He decided to play a prank on the atoms themselves. He set up an experiment that would trick the atoms into thinking they were in control, while in reality, the scientists would have full control.

As the atoms played their usual games, causing havoc in the laboratory, Alex executed his plan. He manipulated the experimental conditions in a way that made the atoms believe they were causing the chaos. In reality, it was all a carefully orchestrated prank.

The atoms fell for the trick, and soon they started behaving predictably. The scientists were amazed. They couldn't believe that Alex had managed to outsmart the atoms. They finally had control over their experiments and could make accurate observations.

From that day forward, the scientists trusted Alex and his pranking abilities. They realized that sometimes, a different perspective and a sense of humor could solve even the most complex problems. The mischievous atoms became the subject of many jokes in the laboratory, and the scientists learned to laugh at their own frustrations.

The discovery of Alex's prank also brought a new understanding of the atoms' behavior. It turned out that atoms were just trying to have some fun and keep the scientists on their toes. They were a reminder that even in the serious world of science, a little humor could go a long way.

And so, the scientists continued their research, armed with a newfound trust in the atoms and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. They knew that with laughter and a playful spirit, they could unlock the secrets of the universe.

最新英语幽默笑话 篇三

　　一、

　　Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.

　　So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.

　　Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.

　　Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?

　　妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。

　　所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。

　　哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我

　　对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?

　　二、

　　One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

　　"Certainly"

　　"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

　　"Then why you didn't take it back?"

　　"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

　　有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。

　　儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”

　　“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”

　　“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”

　　三、

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。

　　一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”

　　打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”

　　四、

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”

　　“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

　　“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

　　五、

　　Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

　　Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

　　妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的?

　　汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了